A New Year - A New Me

Well it's been almost a month since my last journal post, so I felt it was time to write a new entry.  I am down a total of 38 1/2 pounds, as of my weigh in on the 23rd of december.  The weight is still coming off very slowly and can be quite frustrating at times.  I have continued to push through, as this is a life commitment to becoming the new healthy me!

I am still doing Zumba classes faithfully, but due to the holidays haven't had near the classes I am use to.  I'm hoping to get back in the groove of working out more faithfully now that the holidays are over.  I can't say I'm burnt out at all, just going through a dark pit!  I'm not only battling my body now, but my thyroid as well.  I had a meltdown a few days ago.  I know things don't come easy, and the harder u have to work for them, the more u appreciate them.  The 38 1/2 pounds have not by any means come off easy, and I've had to work for every pound!  I am dreading this weeks weigh in, because I know my thyroid is out of whack!  I have more than likely gained, but I will NOT let that slow my journey down.  I have been a bit emotional the past few weeks as well as slacked on my workouts.  Geez, maybe that goes hand in hand!!!  I should NOT have slacked so much on my workouts, but I have.  This week ~ I say "BRING on the ZUMBA"!!!  I have been faithful to the weights & crunches though.  The scale may disappoint me thursday, but I will go back to the following weeks weigh in and have some success!  On the positive side of things, I bagged up some clothes this weekend that I can NO longer fit, due to them being too big!  That was pretty cool!

I have been avoiding myself, if that makes any sense at all!  I guess really avoiding the reality of myself!  The sad thing is, you can't run away from you.  Right now, in alot of ways, I'm my biggest issue.  I have been way more emotional lately.  In private of course, not letting anyone else know.  That's one of my top issues I'm still having a tough time working through.  It is so hard for me to admit, I'm not doing well.  I guess more than admitting to others, I'm having to admit to myself that I'm not 100%.  In reality no one ever is completely a o.k.  I've withdrawn again the past few weeks and not really wanted to get out and be around anyone.  It is a vicious cycle, that I'm just having such a hard time breaking.  I do think alot of that right now is due to my thyroid being out of control again.  It's amazing how much your thyroid controls in your everyday functions.  I've noticed when I am around others I am a women of very few words.  I don't want to go back to that person that was all out of control in so many areas of her life.  I really covet your prayers, and they are much needed right now. 

I have been avoiding writing a new journal entry, because I feel like such a downer.  I have always enjoyed being the one to encourage, but I have to admit I'm in desperate need of some myself right now. 

Deuteronomy 33:27
The eternal God is your refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms: and he shall thrust out the enemy from before you; and shall say, Destroy them.