WoW!!! It’s been 10 years since my last post. A lot of things have happened. I am back on my weight loss journey, this time being prayed over and healed from food addiction. Started in October of last year, but January 24th my life was forever changed. My starting weight was 276 in Oct. Feb 3rd I went in for a regular doctors appointment and weighed 262. Over the last 5 years I have been diagnosed with high blood pressure, diabetes & have had hypothyroidism since 98. At that doctors appointment 1 of my diabetes medications Trulicity was increased from 1.5 mg injection weekly to 3.0 weekly. I was already on the max dose of metformin @ 1000 mg twice daily. On April 6th I discovered loaded teas & meal replacement shakes made with Herbalife products @ a brand new shop called Radiant Nutrition. Huge benefits of protein, vitamins, sugar free & a food suppressant. Fast forward to my appointment yesterday on the 20th, I weighed in @ 243 pounds - a total loss of 33 pounds! I had been keeping a record of my blood pressures and blood sugars over the last 3 months. I was already on the lowest dose of bp medicine @ 10 mg of Lisinopril. After reviewing my logs I was released from taking blood pressure medicine!!! You read that correctly, I reversed my high blood pressure! Because of my blood sugar logs and weight loss, my metformin dose has been cut in half! 1 Step closer to reversing diabetes! You see I wanted to be below 240 pounds, but I left that appointment with so much more.
Funny I weighed myself this morning! You guessed it I was at 240. I have a 1st goal of hitting 220. I have not been that weight since I last blogged over 10 years ago. I plan on doing a jig & a celebration/treat to myself. I will save that information for when I get there.
Today, I found myself having compartmentalized so many emotions. Realize when going through weight loss, you must also shed years of unwanted layers, of deep seeded emotions. So, many bad habits were formed emotionally more so than anything else. I’m a suffer in silence type person. That is what led me to my max weight of 299 pounds. I have always stuffed down pain inside. I realized recently that the cause was the physical, mental, emotional & sexual abuse I suffered as a child, led me to not value myself as a person. I use to get so angry with the saying - “there is no way you can love anyone if you can’t love yourself”! I’m here to tell you, in my experience that wasn’t true. I give so much of myself physically & emotionally, that I can literally deplete all my resources. In turn I have literally found myself ill. You see I know what it feels like to feel unloved, sad, & lonely. At all cost I found myself wanting to prevent anyone else to ever feel what I felt. I also always have been frustrated with the phrase “just choose joy”! I have suffered with severe depression for most my life. When your in that cloud of thinking, there is no way to choose Joy. Depression is not a choice. Unfortunately unless you’ve been there you don’t and can’t understand. What it boils down to is a form of suffering in silence. Years of heavy chains bottled & not really understanding how to break free.
Jesus is my power source! He has been there through it all. Loved me through the highs and lows. Sent me people that love me unconditionally. My husband has been such a rock. God knew I needed him, more than he will ever know. I have begun to grasp on to the fact, a dear lady Mander once told me “Honey God don’t make no junk”! God gives us purpose in our pain! Our story for his glory! I have began to realize I have value and in that value a voice.
